Hallmark Cards

Before this partial list of "Special Day Series" celebratory greetings can be submitted to the Hallmark R&D department, I'm currently searching for an artist to properly illustrate them. I've been told, they will be wildly popular with select audiences.

• Lamenting your XY chromosomal status on your special day.
• Drink til you'd fuck me on your special day.
• Hoarding boners and gobbling chode from a bag of dicks on your special day.
• Celebrating your tiny vagina and daddy complex on your special day.
• Wishing you writhing, rhythmic orgiastic pleasure on your special day.
• Dreaming of marking your womb with my seed while listening to race music on your special day.